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ewelock:

dean-tacos-cas:

spookapple:

jackvessalius:

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look what we have here

i have legitimately never laughed harder and for as long in my entire life

I sat here until my eyes glazed over and then was thinking ‘this is so dumb its just three wells’ and then

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kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
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lamborgayhni:

i-was-so-alone-i-owe-you-so-much:

I miss being human

i didnt realise you were talking about the tv show for a second and was like the fuck have you turned into oh my god

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switch-off-the-stars:

squidsqueen:

dw:

when did we replace the word “said” with “was like”

When it occured to us that “said” implies a direct quote, while “was like” clarifies that you mean to communicate the person’s tone and general point without quoting them word for word.

THANK YOU

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  • 2 days ago
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sketchdeer:

someone should cosplay as chi-fu and the emperor from mulan and then when someone takes their picture at a con they should pose like this

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lion:

when you open the fridge after your mom went grocery shopping

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